Monday, July 6, 2009

Tempe and How We Live: July 2 - 5

I woke up awfully early Thursday morning (5:50 am), head still pounding from the night before (red wine and brandy while watching 'Taken' at Schenley, followed by Irish poker), and caught the 6:30 bus to Pittsburgh's Airport. I boarded my flight and flew to Phoenix via Minneapolis to spend the weekend with Mara. Despite the weather (average temperature of 105) and the general nature of Tempe, Phoenix and Scottsdale we managed to have an excellent time. Spent much of the day indoors with air conditioning or out by the hotel's pool. Highlights included the Desert Botanical Gardens, which were great, though absolutely exhausting in the heat, the Four Peaks Brewery and Restaurant which had a pretty legit American IPA, and my first In 'N Out Burger experience (grilled cheese, animal style). We didn't venture into Phoenix, so I can't reflect on it, but Tempe and Scottsdale were pretty awful. Tempe is a town that is clearly not built with walking in mind. The blocks and streets are huge and there is basically nothing in the town. One street (Mill St.) has some bars and restaurants, but aside from that it's a pretty dead town. All residential and small offices. Scottsdale is more tourist friendly, but everything there is either a kitschy souvenir shop or a chain. The whole area doesn't seem to have any culture or identity of its own (though its certainly tried to adopt the Native American culture for the sake of commodifying it). Instead, it's a disorienting and faceless mess of things you could find anywhere else, all uncomfortably situated in an unbearable environment. Despite that, it was still fun and totally worth it. On Sunday I managed to catch the end of the Federer-Roddick match on TV and then was almost bumped from my plane (which actually would've been awesome, the airline would've had to pay me $500, basically refunding the cost of my tickets for the entire trip, and get me another flight that night). Instead I got into Pittsburgh at 6:40 and caught the bus home only to find that our internet troubles had returned.

On the bus back from the airport I found myself thinking about Nietzsche's eternal recurrence. Below I've posted one of main passages describing it.

What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you in your loneliest loneliness

and say to you: “This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once

more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and

every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or great in your

life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and sequence-even this spider

and this moonlight between the trees, and even this moment and I myself. The eternal

hourglass of existence is turned upside down again and again, and you with it, speck of

dust!” Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon

who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would

have answered him: “You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.” If this

thought gained possession of you, it would change you as you are or perhaps crush you.

The question in each and every thing, “Do you desire this once more, and innumerable

times more?” would lie upon your actions as the greatest weight. Or how well disposed

would you have to become to yourself and to life to crave nothing more fervently than

this ultimate eternal confirmation and seal?


The obvious interpretation of this passage is that it is a sort of thought experiment, a test that we ought to subject all of our decisions and actions to. Nietzsche seems to be encouraging us to throw caution to the wind and live our lives in the most thrilling and pleasurable way possible. This jibes well with other sentiments of his. It occurred to me that this message is much the same to the one imparted by the phrase "you only live once." The parallel struck me as particularly odd. How can it be that believing you only live once and believing that your life recurs can lead to the same conclusion. Clearly in both instances you only have one life to live, (though in one of them you get to live it again and again), but it is still curious. What then leads to caution? I suppose a belief in rebirth or an afterlife may, but it is clear that not only religious people have an tendency to be inactive and careful. I think that caution may be a product of all of our social ties, to friends and family. None of us exist in a vacuum, and if we did, then it might make sense to take all the risks we wanted to do and do absolutely ridiculous things. In reality though, we feel that we have obligations to others, and these obligations tend to force us to avoid doing things that are too dangerous or outlandish.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Long Overdue: A Night Out, Names and The Boston Invite - June 25- 28

So as this post is a summary of my last week, I must ask forgiveness for its fractured and jumpy nature.

Wednesday night was awesome. I walked over to Schenley Park to meet up with Friar, Geoff and Andrea and watch Iron Man, which was being shown outdoors on a big screen. After the movie we went out and got some margaritas, and then went to Dave and Andy's (the ice cream shop where Geoff and Andrea work) and made ourselves sundaes. I was literally a kid in a candy shop, and it was everything that I had hoped for and more. Thursday, after a lazy day, we drove up to Hastings with Pants. On Friday I went into the city with Friar, and saw Josh and Eric, which was very pleasant. That evening, before heading up to Boston, we had dinner with my parents and Nicky and Kaari, which was also wonderful.

Saturday morning, we awoke early and headed out to Devens, MA. The first game of the day was our toughest, but we ended up coming out on top, beating Wiretap 16-14. After that, the rest of the day was a breeze. We beat DoG handily (I had a layout d and went upline for a score) and demolished Colt. This set us up for a cross over game with PoNY, we went down 4-1 before games were postponed till Sunday because of lightning. Sunday morning, after a night of lazing around and watching a truly awful movie (about zombies crashing a high school prom) we came back out and beat PoNY. I can't say I played much, but it was so cool to be on a team that could win a game against a team that had made nationals only last year, not to mention a team that I thought was way out of my league. Afterwards, we played GOAT and lost, but just the fact that we played GOAT was so enough to make me happy. Our last game of the day was a loss against Sons of Liberty, a game that we should've won. I recognized many of the SoL players, and it seemed to me that of all the clubs we had played that weekend, SoL was probably the one most closely matched to my skill level. Afterwards, we stayed to watch a few points of the GOAT-Ironside final, and then journeyed home, arriving at 2:30 am. It was a fantastic weekend.

In the midst of all this running around, I've found time to start watching yet another TV show: the BBC's most recent take on the Arthurian legend, called 'Merlin.' What has struck me about this show is the way in which it plays on the power of names. Everyone watching the show presumably knows what becomes of Arthur, Guinevere, Merlin, Morgana and Mordred. What 'Merlin' does is follow these characters from their beginnings. Arthur is obviously a prince, but outside of that things are different. Merlin is Arthur's manservant, and must hide his gift for magic, Morgana is Uther's ward, and Guinevere is her servant. Mordred is a random child who Arthur, Merlin, Guinevere and Morgana save in one episode. The way that the show utilizes dramatic irony through the audience's knowledge of the Arthurian knowledge started me thinking on the power of names. In the modern era, names have lost much of their power, but it seems to me that names have always been potent, if only because of the knowledge that they impart. Names contain information about lineage, ethnicity and profession. My favorite example is one of my ancestor's names: Fleischacker (i.e. Flesh-hacker). In former times, when social mobility was not as easy, someone named Fleischacker was probably a [German] butcher. At any rate, I don't have much more to say on the subject, except that names are pretty cool.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Hawthorne and HRC - June 22 and 23

As I mentioned in my last post, I picked up a book of Hawthorne's short stories recently and, surprisingly, I'm enjoying them. Hawthorne's style can be obnoxious, he uses large words and synonyms as if he is overly self-conscious of his own vocabulary and insists on latinate sentence constructions (i.e. periodic sentences: lots of commas and semi-colons). At the same time, I find the larger themes of his work fascinating and attractive. For one thing, the short stories attempt to portray New England when it was still the frontier. For this reason (like much literature about the wilderness) there is a strong sense of the supernatural, and defamiliarization is prevalent. This strong sense of superstition is intertwined with puritan values and ideals (held, as far as I can tell, by Hawthorne's characters rather than Hawthorne himself). The stories themselves appear to be (and sometimes are, much to my annoyance) simple allegories, but there is usually some sort of logical gap in what the obvious message seems to be, a flaw or ambiguity.

The two stories that have popped out at me the most so far are 'Young Goodman Brown' and 'The Burial of Roger Malvin.' 'Young Goodman Brown' is a relatively famous story, and is famous for the moral ambiguity that I mention above. To recap, the story begins as what seems to be a straightforward allegory: Goodman (get it?) must leave his wife, Faith (get it?), to do battle with the demonic forces of temptation in the wilderness. This is where things get a little convoluted. For one thing, all of the upstanding citizens of Goodman's town appear to be in league with the devil, including his own wife. He manages to resist temptation, but at the end of the night it is unclear whether the visions he has had are real, or exist only within his own mind. Goodman returns to the town and can never see his neighbors or wife in the same way again. He dies a bitter and gloomy man. There are certainly multiple interpretations of this story, but the ones that I favor center on questions of subjective perception and ethical relativism. For one thing, Goodman never witnesses any of the townspeople performing evil deeds outside of the satanic ritual that he thinks he saw. He judges them despite the fact that this is a phenomenon that has appeared only to him. What is most haunting perhaps, is the plausibility of the interpretation that all of the townspeople ARE evil. Certainly, from our modern standpoint, we can see how America's early settlers could be condemned for their genocide of the Native Americans, as well as the repressive and unenlightened ways in which they governed (e.g. witch trials?!). Perhaps Hawthorne had his own reasons for associating puritans with satan. In this sense, Goodman may in fact be an upstanding, moral man passing correct judgment. This does not change the fact that he lives a truly unhappy life. Does the ultimate moral value of our deeds matter less in the final calculus of our lives than whether or not we conformed with society or fit in? Anyway, I could ramble on about this story interminably. I haven't even touched on the notion that Goodman's wife could be understood as Faith personified.

'Roger Malvin's Burial' brings up similar questions. The story is about two men, a father and his son-in-law to be, who have survived a battle with Native Americans. Both are wounded, but the father (Roger) is on death's door. He convinces Reuben to abandon him to die under a rock, and before he leaves Reuben vows to return and bury Roger (a matter of weighty importance to America's frontiersmen according to Hawthorne). Reuben manages to find his way back home and marries Roger's daughter. The rub is that he tells everyone that Roger actually died with Reuben by his side, and that Reuben dutifully buried him where he expired. Of course, the guilt eats him up from the inside, leaving him an angry man whose only true source of joy is his son Cyrus. Reuben's fortune dwindles away over the years, so he must strike out into the wilderness with his wife and son in order to forge a new destiny for himself. One evening, hunting for game, Reuben mistakenly shoots his own son, and realizes that Cyrus has expired on the exact same spot where he left Roger so many years ago. Clearly this story appeals to me because it deals with graves, memorials, memory and the cyclical nature of history. Embedded in the plot is the idea that without carrying the past with us, we sacrifice our future. Additionally, Hawthorne describes what has hung over Reuben as a curse, which is fascinating. It is worth noting that Reuben has every reason to leave Roger behind. Roger even urges him to do so, and prays for the safety and well-being of Reuben and his daughter. There doesn't seem to be a clear moral imperative here. What curses Reuben is his own vow. He has created his own destiny by violating his own moral code. At any rate, I'll shut up about literature now.

Lastly, today was cool because I got to do some substantial work for HRC. For one thing, the wife of a man to whom I had mailed out the notice about our investigation of SCI-Dallas called me and I was able to give her cogent and accurate advice over what she ought to send me. On top of that, I've gotten myself involved in an investigation into certain abuses of a prisoner who has an ongoing lawsuit against the DOC (Department of Corrections). I called both SCI-Fayette, where he's currently incarcerated, as well as the DOC's central office, and it seems like they're actually putting an investigator from OPR (Office of Professional Responsibility) on the case. So something happened! I'm going to try to write out letters to the Supt. of Fayette and the DOC secretary tomorrow, putting them 'on notice.' I may even get to try to file criminal charges against them! Exciting stuff.

Monday, June 22, 2009

My Weekend in Cleveland - June 20 and 21

This past weekend I drove up to Cleveland with Ian to play at No Surf with Forge. The team had decided to split X/Y, which meant that both teams were playing with only 9 people. Overall, the experience was a good one, though it had its ups and downs. To begin with, I was slightly disappointed with my own level of play. I scored the first point of the tourney for us, and that was my only goal all weekend. I didn't have any ds (though I wasn't getting beaten all over the place either). While I certainly shoulder most of the responsibility for the level of my own play, I felt that I wasn't really placed in a position to excel. Primarily, I mean that this was my first time playing with anyone on Forge and with any of Forge's strategy. I didn't really start understanding the way that they run their Horizontal Stack until Sunday, and by then I had been pigeon-holed into a role as the handler who receives the pull and immediately gets it to the center handler. A role without any glamour, and one that I am not as suited for as cutting. On the upside, playing disc is always a blast, everyone on the team is incredibly nice and there are quite a few remarkable characters, I got to mark up on Luke Johnson (the guy who makes the Rhino videos I'm slightly obsessed with) and I had my best game of the tourney in the semis, when it really mattered (for this game, I was cutting). I also learned a lot, and am (if this is possible) even more excited than I was for Superfly's upcoming season.

Aside from that, not too much is going on. I got back the first responses to my solitary confinement questionnaire. They're pretty powerful and depressing, but it's given me a new perspective on the project and a new source of motivation. I stopped by a used bookstore today and picked up 'For Whom The Bell Tolls' and a collection of short fiction by Hawthorne. Last night's dinner was pasta with asparagus, mushrooms and sundried tomatoes. If I get anything from this summer, it will be a better ability to fend for myself after college, especially in the cooking department; which is not a skill to be taken lightly, as my difficulty with food this past school year can attest to.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

My Day In Court - June 16

Around noon yesterday I caught a bus downtown to go to a sentencing appeal for Joseph, the man who had been convicted of 3rd degree murder. The whole experience was remarkable. The first thing I noticed when I got off of the bus at Grant and Forbes was the Allegheny County Courthouse. I can't think of a succinct way to describe it but to say that Foucault would've had a field day with it. The courthouse was built in the late 19th century, and it looks like a cathedral and fortress rolled into one (http://www.alleghenycounty.us/acic/cjold.jpg). The wall that surrounds what I assume was the jail part of the courthouse is about 30 or 40 feet high, and is quite imposing. The structure itself is made out of huge, roughly cut stone blocks. The whole building has a very primitive and brutal air about it, and at the same time it implies some sense of a civic religion (with its towers and the church-like construction of the jail section).

At 12:30 Bret and Cecilia (Joseph's mother) talked to a few members of the media (they called it a press conference, but I don't know what justifies that label). After a quick bite to eat we went inside in time to see Joseph being brought into the courtroom. It was striking. I can't recall if I've ever seen someone in handcuffs before, but I've certainly never seen anyone with leg irons or with a leather lead strapped around them. The only word that I can think to use is shameful. I felt ashamed to look at Joseph, and I can't imagine the shame that he felt, walking through the halls of the courthouse with chains on. It's difficult to fully describe the scene, but what I can say is that while the handcuffs, leg irons and leather lead all certainly serve to control the prisoner and make escape more difficult, they also serve to destroy any dignity that the incarcerated might still have. Having every step cut too short by the metal links around your ankles and being led around on a leather leash are not conducive to self-respect.

The hearing itself was very interesting, and I only wish I could've understood more. The issue at hand was not the verdict of the case itself, but the judge's sentence. The defense's two main points (raised by an attorney who had a few unfortunate speaking tics, to wit: mumbling, some sort of lisp, repetition and the annoying tendency to undermine his arguments with phrases like 'this is only my opinion') were that Joseph had no prior convictions and that under Pennsylvania sentencing guidelines (not mandatory) he should've been given less time, and that the judge, in his sentencing statement, cited his belief that the murder was a premeditated execution, whereas the jury had clearly disagreed with this theory by convicting Joseph of 3rd degree murder and not 1st degree murder. Just to put all of this in context, Joseph had been sentenced to 17-35 years in prison, and the maximum for 3rd degree murder in Pennsylvania is 23.5-35 years. The district attorney rebutted the defense's first argument by pointing out that the sentencing guidelines were not mandatory and reminding the judge that Joseph's record was not completely clean. Apparently, during the presentencing phase of the initial trial, 3 complaints of assault against Joseph had come up. This is where my legal knowledge gets a little fuzzy, but the DA said that these cases of assault had been "adjudicated." I don't know what the technical legal definition of this term is, but I think that it's something quite separate from being convicted by a jury in a court of law. When the DA mentioned one of the cases of assault (stabbing a school official with a pencil) a man next to me who was a member of the family whispered 'that was in first grade!' The DA then recast the defense's argument about the jury as simply that the jury had been trying to show mercy by convicting Joseph of 3rd instead of 1st degree (this was part of it, but not the most important part in my mind) and argued that the judge HAD showed mercy. Oy vey.

Afterwards I caught a bus back uptown, finished watching the first season of The Wire on my computer and picked up some Rye Bread Kvass from the East End Brewery. It was interesting stuff, the initial taste was a little too sweet for me, but the hint of bread at the end finishes the drink off nicely, and it was very light which is perfect for summer.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Frisbee and Iran - June 12 and 13

Didn't do too much on Friday, but I managed to get myself over to the East End Brewery to pick up a growler of IPA. I ended up hanging out there for awhile, which was really nice. The place has a really good vibe (it's a tiny brewery run by two people), and during the growler hours you have people of all ages coming in, even parents with toddlers. I ended up deciding to stick with IPA, but I also sampled some Kvass, which is basically beer made with bread. It was actually pretty good. Spent the rest of the night bar hopping and watching the Stanley cup finals, which was fun.

Saturday morning I woke up early along with Friar to get out to summer league. We had promised to give our captains a ride, which we did. They were both really great people, Geoff is a rising senior at Pitt and Andrea is a rising junior. The rest of the team was fantastic as well. There's not too much better than getting outside, playing disc and meeting people. On the way back Geoff and Andrea mentioned that they both worked at an ice cream place and they offered us free ice cream whenever we dropped by. So yea, a pretty great start to the day. The rest of my Saturday was spent doing absolutely nothing, which was fine by me. I was little immobile anyway, having been stung on the bottom of my foot by a bee.

On a completely different note, I've been fascinated by the election drama in Iran as well as the media's coverage of it. There seems to be a few very fundamental tensions within the democratic model (or at least the popular conception of it), one of which is that a healthy democracy has a populace that cares deeply about the issues and participates in great numbers, but the losers in any given election are supposed to accept the outcome without attempting to undermine the state. Over the last few days in Iran we've seen a pro-Western candidate (implicitly associated with democracy) defeated, and then refusing to concede the election. I recognize that there is a chance that the election was rigged, but the polls were close enough that it conceivably might not have been. Similarly to America's support of anti-communist dictators in third world countries during the 20th century, it seems like we (particularly the media in this case) too readily sacrifice the tenets of democracy for political exigencies. Why has no one condemned the riots in Iran? Because the rioters are on our side?

Lastly, and more broadly, I find it interesting that in mature democracies, though there is certainly a deep concern over issues, a great number of people are apathetic (or at least ambivalent and choose not to vote). To what extent is a partially apathetic population necessary for the smooth functioning of a democracy? If EVERYONE cared deeply about each election would we ever be able to have a peaceful transition of power? Do the apathetic anchor the political ideologues and prevent extreme groups from acting on their polarizing ideology?

NB: The line between legitimate protest and illegitimate violence is obviously unclear, but it seems to me that what is happening in Iran has crossed that line.

Edit: After doing some more reading on the election, it does seem that there are many indicators that there was something fishy going on. So, perhaps Iran wasn't the best case to make my point with, but it does bring up other interesting (albeit tangential) questions of how effective violent protest is, and what justifies it.

Another Edit: Caught this line in the NY Times tonight: "If the election were truly “real and free” as Mr. Ahmadinejad insisted, the results would be accepted by the voters and the government would not have to resort to such repression." Seems like a pretty simplistic way of looking at things.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Desensitization and the Start of Forge Tryouts - June 10 and 11

I suppose I'll begin this post with the more superficial stuff. Today I went to some pick-up at Schenley Park (self-titled "high level" pick-up). A few Forge guys were there including the captain. I felt awfully out of shape, but managed to get a layout d the first point I was in and got bookends the last point of the day, so...I feel pretty good about myself. I just can't wait for No Surf. I realize that I need to focus more on defense (especially on using my body) and that when cutting I need to end my deep cuts earlier (it's obvious after a certain point when it's not going to be thrown, and once you get too deep it's pretty hard to make a viable in cut). In terms of fitness, my legs feel powerful, but aerobically I'm a mess. I may need to start going on long runs or something. Too much hard breathing and too many cramps. Anyway, I'm pumped for Cleveland and the Boston Invite.

On a more serious note, yesterday was my first all group meeting with Fed Up! It started off with a really interesting and depressing presentation by a woman whose son had been wrongly convicted of 3rd degree murder. It was all the more striking because I've recently been watching The Wire. When hearing about a true story it's hard not to take it and interpret it in the same way that you would an episode of Law & Order or The Wire. It's hard to understand that this isn't something being presented for your entertainment or edification, and that there are real people involved whose whole lives may be destroyed by crooked police work, incompetent public defenders and inattentive juries. 17-35 years in prison in Pennsylvania is no joke, and it's no mistake that most of the shows on TV don't follow men into incarceration. It does make me curious to watch Oz though (I think that was the show on HBO about prison life).

In Sarat's class this last semester we read an article by Martha Nussbaum (part of the law as literature movement) that argued that we have to see cases like a story in order to empathize with the criminals and incorporate mercy into our judgments. I wonder though, to what extent, by viewing events as stories we banish them from the realm of the 'real' and allow ourselves to abdicate our responsibility as actors, opting for the role of viewers instead.